


Story of my life

by HeleneOfFlowers



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aromanticism, Asexuality, Claire and Alex bonding, Claire centric, The second chapter at least, Wayward Daughters, aro/ace Claire, aromantic Claire, asexual Claire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-24 13:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4921750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeleneOfFlowers/pseuds/HeleneOfFlowers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jimmy and Amelia taught Claire that you should always be in love with someone before thinking about doing anything else with them and so Claire wasn't upset when all the other girls in her class began to talk about boys and having crushes.<br/>She grew up and while everyone else seemed to only have interest in finding the perfect partner, whether for a romance or for sex, Claire couldn't find herself wanting it.<br/>Guess being possessed really could fuck you up, huh?<br/>In the end, it didn't matter.<br/>In the end, Claire didn't care.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Before

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silverstaineddreams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverstaineddreams/gifts).



> So, I've had this headcanon of aro/ace Claire for quite some time already (ever since Kathryn Newton RT aesthetic posts about it) and when Leyla aka silverstaineddreams and I began fangirling about Wayward Daughters, I decided to put my headcanons into fic form. It was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but due to organisation and the lenght the fic began to take, I've decided to make two chapters. The second one will be posted either later this weekend or at the beginning of next week.  
> As always, please tell me if there are any mistakes in the story, english is not my first language and I like my fics to be as mistake-free as possible.  
> I hope you enjoyed it and if you did, please don't hesitate and come talk to me either on tumblr ([Helene-Of-Flowers](http://helene-of-flowers.tumblr.com/welcome)) or on twitter ([HeleneOfFlowers](https://twitter.com/HeleneOfFlowers))!

“So, who do _you_ like, Claire?“  
Haley was Claire's best friend. They had met in 2nd grade and stayed together ever since. Now they were both 10, sitting in Haley's room, talking about what 10 year olds like to talk about.   
Claire didn't know how to answer. There wasn't anyone she liked. At least not like that.   
“Dylan.”, she whispered, blushing. That was a lie. She didn't like Dylan. He was loud and stupid and he had pulled her hair last week when they were playing football together. But all the other girls thought he was cute. Nobody would question her “crush”.  
And so Claire Novak liked Dylan.

When Claire was 12, she had to save her family. And so an angel possessed her and nothing was the same anymore.

After Castiel was gone, Claire felt empty. She didn't know whether that was because she knew what an angel looked and felt like and if this led to her subconscious longing for something bigger, something _greater_ , or because too much happened to fast and she simply didn't know what to feel. In the end, it didn't matter.

When Amelia dropped her off at her grandmother's, Claire didn't complain. She didn't say anything, really. She didn't say anything either when started at her new school. Rather than standing in front of the class to say something about herself, she just shook her head and sat down in the back of the room.  
If you asked Claire's teachers what kind of girl she was, most would answer something along the lines of _Very sweet, she pays a lot of attention in class, but she could participate more_. What they didn't say was: _Freak. Why doesn't she ever say anything? Can't she speak like normal people do? Always looking at me like she knows everything better. As if I'm nothing else than an ant compared to her, not worthy. We'd all be better off without her._  
Claire knew that people despised her. Claire didn't care.

Although nobody said it out loud, everyone was in some way glad when Mrs. Novak passed away. Because that meant that they got Claire off of their back. Ever since Jimmy and Amelia had disappeared, nobody had wanted anything to do with the Novaks anyway. 

When she was introduced to the world of group homes, Claire stopped not caring. It was hard not to care when the kid in the room next door had made it their duty to waste their dinner by dumping it onto her every. Single. Day. Claire stopped not caring. Instead, she learned how to talk with her fists. 

The son of her first foster family was a literal pain in the ass. He begun by putting needles and nails on her chair. He finished by dumping nearly all her personal belongings in the nearby river, which resulted in Claire breaking his nose and the family sending her away.  
The second family reminded her of herself from when she had to live with her grandmother. They simply didn't care.  
The third family had a daughter. They probably thought Claire would bond easier with a girl. She did not. Amy seemed to do nothing else than to talk about unimportant things. About Sebastian, who had helped her carry her books today. That Scott and Jane totally shouldn't be together, Jane was a total slut anyway, who on their right mind would date her? And Dylan was apparently still the hottest guy one could ever ask for.   
Claire had had a crush on a Dylan when she was younger. Or did she? It seemed to have been an eternity ago. She couldn't remember.   
Dylan turned out no to be that hot and a real dick. She ended up knocking out two of his teeth when he grabbed her ass. 

Dustin liked Claire. Not like a sister, she knew that. He _wanted_ her. The way he looked at her. The way he talked to her. It repulsed Claire. But he and Randy were the only family she had left . So she swallowed her feelings and didn't say anything. 

As it turned out, Amelia had been in pretty shady places. The smell made Claire want to throw up. What the fuck had her mom wanted in a _strip club_?   
She ended up not being able to spend more than 10 minutes in there. Instead, she took a look at the other place her mother had been in the town. A ratty old bar. It smelled exactly like the strip club. At least not everyone looked like they wanted her dancing on the stage.   
As soon as she was back at the motel, Claire was showering and brushing her skin until it was red and raw. She still felt the looks on her back for the entire night.


	2. Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, this chapter is far longer than originally expected, but I like it so much! It takes place in the Wayward Daughters-verse (We deserve it. We deserve something good) and blissfully ignores the last season finale. No Winchesters fucking up the world again, no darkness, nothing (Charlie isn't dead either but that's not important I just wanted to add it here).  
> Enjoy!

For the first time since her grandmother had died, Claire felt as if she didn't need to run. She didn't know Jody, except for what the Winchesters had told her. Why did she even trust them?  
Claire sighed. With her luck, they would be attacked by demons within the next week. Or child services would come and begin asking questions, why a sheriff (single on top of that) had suddenly two daughters. Where did they come from? Alex (whom Claire hadn't met yet) alone could have been adopted without anyone paying too much attention to it. But _two_ kids all of sudden? That would raise suspicion. 

Somebody knocked. Claire looked up from the grumpy cat she was holding in her hands before putting it on her nightstand and kicking her bag, still containing the angel sword, under the bed.  
“Come in.”  
Jody opened the door. “I know you've just arrived, but dinner is ready and Alex hasn't come home yet. Could you please help me set the table?”  
Claire simply nodded. Sam had said Jody was “ _good people_ ”. She was left hoping he was right.

Two weeks later and the small three people household had neither been destroyed by demons nor visited by child services. Instead, Claire had enrolled in the local high school because, to quote Jody, if she “ _wasn't planning on doing anything while she sorted out her life, she might as well do something useful and finish her education_ ”. Of course, Claire didn't plan on going to college or anything similar, but at least she had something to do, to occupy her thoughts.  
As it turned out, people her age hadn't changed much over the years. The girls were still only talking about who was the hottest and how prom would be, while the boys were still immature and irresponsible as ever. At least they didn't pull her hair anymore.  
Claire still didn't fit it. But nobody else did either, so it didn't matter. 

It had been 3 weeks since Claire's arrival at Jody's when she got asked out for the first time in her life. Peter and she had gotten along pretty fast. He had someone he could talk to about all the weird things that went through his head, and Claire had someone who gave her the feeling how she was was okay.  
It had been a Saturday evening, they were both sitting on a park bench, drinking beer.  
“I'm glad I've met you, Claire.”  
She didn't know what to say, so she didn't say anything. What were you supposed to respond to these kind of confessions anyway?  
“When you got here, I had given up every single bit of hope of ever finding a girl that liked. And I really like you. Please Claire, will you please go out with me?”  
She was starstruck. Why now? Why he? Couldn't they just be friends?  
“I...I have to go.”  
Hastily, she got up and walked away. What had she done to deserve this? Couldn't they just leave her alone? She could hear Peter calling her back, to let him explain, but she didn't want to hear anything. No explanation, no apologies, nothing. He had to ruin everything.  
Claire could feel the tears at the corner of her eyes. No, she couldn't cry. Not now! Not because of some boy! She had survived demon attacks, an angel possessing her, some ass trying to rape her, and she couldn't get over some stupid guy who only saw her as a dating device to make him seem as if he wasn't a loser?  
Angrily, Claire kicked open the door to her room. She heard Jody calling her name from downstairs, but she didn't answer. Instead, she let herself fall on the bed, simply closed her eyes, and tried to forget what just happened. But she couldn't. Peter face kept pushing into her thought, his voice continued filling her ears. Why did he have to do this to her? Why couldn't they just leave her alone? She didn't want to date anyone! She didn't want to have sex with anyone! Was is too much, asking for a simple life where she wasn't just some kind of trophy for other people to show each other?

_Look, I have a girlfriend. Look, she's hot. Look, she says I'm awesome in bed._

It made her sick. She continued crying. 

She got pulled out of her thoughts by somebody knocking on her door.  
“ 's open.”, she mumbled, nearly too quiet for anybody too hear. Jody opened the door. Standing in the doorway, she looked down at her, lying on her bed, face buried in her pillow. Claire must look horrible.  
Jody sighed and sat down next to her. “What happened?”  
Claire didn't answer. Jody didn't say anything either. After maybe 5 minutes she got up. “If you want to talk about it, I'm here to listen. Dinner will be ready soon.” She had just stepped out of the room, when Claire spoke up.

“Peter asked me out.”

Jody stops and turns around. She looked concerned. “Did he ask you out as a joke?”

Claire just shook her head. Jody sat down next to her again. “Then what's so bad about it?”

“I don't wanna go out with him.”, Claire mumbled into her pillow. Again, Jody sighed.  
“You know, the first guy to ask me out was a total asshole and as an answer, I threw my drink at him. You know you don't have to go out with anybody you don't want to. I didn't meet my husband until I was 27. You still have time, Claire.” She looked down at her now surrogate daughter, wanting to make her understand that rejecting someone was nothing you should feel bad about.  
Claire swallowed and hid her tears in her pillow. Why couldn't anybody understand her. She didn't want to meet her future husband. She didn't want to meet anybody if it meant them falling in love with her. In the hidden depths of her soul, Claire knew that she could never feel that way for anybody. Not like this. 

“I'm gonna put the leftovers in the fridge for you, okay? I don't want you to go to bed hungry.”

Claire didn't answer. Jody left her alone.

 

One week later, and Claire still hadn't spoken to Peter. She kept going out of his way, and whenever he wanted to talk to her, she simply ignored him and walked the other way. How do you even speak to someone you dumped in the worst way possible? How do you even talk to someone you've avoided for an entire week? Sure, Claire could explain him that she was just so surprised by him asking her out, especially since no boy has ever asked her out before, she'd just needed some time to think about and that she would love to go out with him. Only Claire didn't want to go out with him. She didn't feel like that for him and the thought of having sex with him (because he _would_ want to sleep with her if they were dating) repulsed her. No, she'd rather run and hide from him for her entire life than to date him. 

It turned out that avoiding Peter for the rest of her life wasn't a good idea. Not because of Peter, no. He quickly understood that Claire didn't didn't want anything from him anymore and left her alone. She was thankful for that. However, this didn't mean he left Alex alone. And Alex didn't like being bothered.  
And that's how, on a Thursday evening, while Claire was doing her homework, Alex kicked her door in, threw herself on Claire's bed and said: “I don't know what your issue is, but you definitely need to talk with your ex-boyfriend.”  
She didn't notice how Claire tensed up at _ex-boyfriend_. Instead, she kept on talking.  
“I mean, what's so hard to understand about I don't know? Why is he even asking me why you won't talk to him anymore? Why aren't you talking to him anyway? Weren't you two like total besties? What happened? Did you tell him about the Supernatural and he decided you're nuts or what?” Expectantly, she looked at Claire. 

“He asked me out.”

Alex laughed. “No wonder you're freaking out. You're a total psycho. There's no chance you'll ever find someone who wants to stay with you. Please tell me you said no. Of course you said no, otherwise you two would be talking to each other.”

Claire glared at her. “Are you telling me being raised by a bunch of vampires makes you more normal than me?”

“No, but nobody who has anything to do with the Winchesters turned out normal. But seriously, what's the big deal? Couldn't you just tell him no and continue drinking booze?” 

“We weren't...”

“Oh come on! You really think your lie works? Not even Jody believes it anymore! But that doesn't answer my question. What's so horrible about him asking you out?”

“I don't wanna have a boyfriend.”

“Okay. So? I bet girls have better taste anyway and don't react as if you're vanity reincarnated as soon as you buy yourself a special body lotion.”

Claire groaned. Couldn't _anybody_ understand her? She had hoped that Alex, having been through the same stuff as she, would feel at least a _hint_ of sympathy.

“I mean I don't want to date _anybody_. I don't want to find my other half, or my soul mate, or the love of my life, or whatever you want to call it. I'm not made for this kind of stuff!”

“Then don't date. I still don't see what all this fuss is about.”

Claire was speechless. How could Alex not see the problem? _Don't date._ Pff. As if it would be so easy!

“Uh, no normal person wants to spend their entire life alone?” 

“Uh, you won't? Seriously, Claire, you have this really annoying habit of making everything far more complicated than it needs to be! You don't want to date? Fine, don't do it! You don't want to have sex with anyone? Great, at least you will neither get pregnant nor catch STIs! And it seriously doesn't matter if that is because you were born as the spectacular nutcase that you are or because you have a fucked up family which for some reason is like a magnet for the supernatural. Right now, you're not dating anyone but does that mean you're alone? No! Jody cares for you, the freaking Winchesters care for you, otherwise they would never have send you here, and your weird angel dad cares for you and wants to help you in every way possible if you would simply let him! Who the fuck told you you need to have the stereotypical white-picket-fence-live in order to be happy? Fuck that. You've always lived just fine without some Prince Charming at your side, why would you begin to need one now?”

Claire didn't know what to say. Alex stood up.

“Dinner's ready in 5 minutes. You're setting the table today. And for gods sake, if Peter asks me one more time why you're not talking to him, I'm gonna to kick your ass all the way to Europe!”  
The door fell shut.

The next day, Claire caught Peter just before he had class.

“I'm sorry for not talking to you all this time. I didn't know what to do. I've never been asked out before. No, I don't want to go out with you.”  
With these words, she turned away and walked down the hall to her physics class.

Maybe her time here wouldn't turn out to be so bad after after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry if Peter asking Claire out is totally awkward and unrealistic but I've never been asked out nor even heard how it goes so????? Yeah, I hope it's not too bad :)


End file.
